I woke up this morning wanting to write something about love and what it really looks and feels like. I don’t mean romantic love, but unconditional love. It’s so simple yet not easy to describe or even implement because we grow up being told what it looks like. We’re told things like “Unconditional love means being willing to give the shirt of your back.” And yet any parent will tell you that sometimes unconditional love means being willing NOT to give the shirt off your back, allowing the shirtless one an opportunity to discover his own power and ingenuity and that he is indeed capable of dressing himself.
So how do we know? The answer really is in the heart. Why? Because our heart is what connects us to each other. Our hearts have an intelligence that communicates both with our brains and with other people’s hearts. Did you know that hard science now confirms that the heart has neurons and generates the largest electromagnetic field in the Body, 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain. According to the Heart Math Institute, this field can be detected and measured several feet away from a person’s body AND between individuals. The data shows that when people are in proximity, a transference of the electromagnetic energy produced in the heart occurs. And you can feel it. Think about it. Everyone of us has experienced feelings of delight after meeting one person while feeling trepidation and the need for a shower and detox after meeting another. And why not? The magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 100 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain! AND get this, the heart actually sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. It is in fact, the heart that informs the brain! So in essence, the heart knows better than the brain because it is receiving and transmitting pure information without being subject to the trickery of what we’ve “learned” or how we’ve been programmed in our classrooms, in society, and in our family lives. The key is to learn to identify those messages from the heart before the brain starts messing with them.
If we listen to our hearts we will receive a unique knowing in the form of peace with no expectation. Truly, it is that peace that surpasses all knowledge. Think about it. More than likely, there are times you have given and felt your heart quietly expand into more openness with no need for anything in return, no expectation of outcome, no need for recognition or acknowledgement. You were satisfying your own calling apart from a mental judgement of what the other person needed. Then there are times you have given and were completely exhausted, like your efforts just went down a big black hole only to spit the recipient back out and into the same circumstance all over again.
The key really is in listening to our hearts. Are you feeling a true peace about it? Or are you pushing to prove something, to teach something. Are you feeling good about your action regardless of the outcome? Or do you need the recipient to respond in a particular manner. This really is the place of unconditional love…love WITHOUT CONDITION.
It’s time to start redefining unconditional love and realize there is no cookie cutter response to every circumstance. The only way is to feel your way and trust the intelligence of the heart for it is informing the brain. We just have to listen.
Check out heartmath.org.